Childish Games
by Orwell is watching-xoxo
Summary: Sometimes, Jayne is just as childish as River. Never give him an opportunity for his mind to go into the gutter. It won't end well. Rayne.


**Hey fellow Browncoats! I know it's been quite a while since I've posted something up here, but the muses just were staying quiet. **

**River is childish and Jayne isn't much better. They end up making the perfect pair!**

**I do not own Firefly, or any of the characters affiliated with it. **

_**Childish Games**_

River Tam was childish. Everyone aboard Serenity knew this much, and just accepted it, for the most part. "Oh that's just River"—they would say. Jayne Cobb, on the other hand, was a little more than annoyed at that fact. The girl was a loon, that much was for certain. But maybe if everyone stopped babying the little moonbrain, maybe she could start to grow as the little woman she _should've_ been.

Every time River came running into the kitchen and dining area, she was always screaming gibberish and what not. Always trying to get everyone to play along with her little games. Well, the merc thought to himself with a snide sneer, he'd play a game with her alright, but it wouldn't be the kind of game she had in mind. That would _surely_ put her in her place.

Jayne was just as childish as the reader was most days. Most days, they just fed each other's fire. Mal thought it was funny as hell, but it worried Simon to death. The two of them didn't have the most pleasant history together, that was for sure.

The latest time River was on her little tangents, Jayne finally decided to speak his mind. When the reader came into the kitchen sputtering random words, the merc braced himself.

"Whatcha going on about now, moonbrain?" Jayne muttered aloud. He looked up at her from where he sat at the table cleaning his guns.

"Someone's calling me home," River whispered, looking all around at the kitchen and dining area.

The merc snorted and went back to cleaning his gun. "By all means, mooney, head back to the mother ship."

"_Chur ni-duh_," the reader swore, glowering back at him.

"Not today, little woman, Mal would have me strung up by my toes," Jayne toyed on, his tone so very close to a deadpan.

River was just about to reply when Simon came running into the room, frantically looking around for his little sister.

"River!" The doctor called, hurrying over towards her with his hands up in defense. "Look, no needles. No medicine for today, okay?"

"_Guh-guh _thinks that she's nothing but a child," the brunette reader began, her tone growing hostile. "Someone's calling me home, Simon!"

"_Mei-mei_, I know you want to go home, but we just can't," Simon gently placed his hand on the side of his sister's face, to which she tried to jerk away.

"Sounds like little sister is resisting nap time again," Jayne chuckled with a booming laughter.

The elder Tam just shook his head and replied, "do you even _have _a bone of etiquette in your body?"

"Well who needs etiquette, doc? I'm just sayin' the truth," the merc relaxed back in his chair, throwing his arms behind his head.

River stuck her tongue out towards Jayne, and he just stared at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Ya know, moonbrain, ya shouldn't stick out your tongue unless you know how to use it," Jayne raised an eyebrow, somewhat quizzing the young reader.

"_Run-tse duh fwotzoo_. Jayne, have you gone _mad_?" Simon asked, his mouth hanging wide open. "Never mind. I know the answer to that already. You've gone mad and now you're trying to court my sister."

"What?" the merc looked between the Tam siblings, "doc, I dunno what yer talkin' about. I ain't courtin' nobody."

"Nobody's courting anybody today," Mal spoke up as he entered the dining area, only hearing the last bit of that conversation. "Simon, you get your sister and take her to someplace quiet-like on the ship. I ain't wanting any trouble today. We're gonna swing by Persephone, and I don't want her escaping like she did last time."

The doctor sighed and took his sister by the elbow, who was still trying to fight to get away. "No! Can't make her disappear again! Dark places are scary, scary," she was whimpering by the end of this, which made Simon smile sadly.

"_Mei-mei_, I'll be right with you. You won't be in a dark place," he tried to convince her in the most sincere voice he could muster.

"Promise?" River tried to crack a smile of her own, though she still had teary eyes.

"I promise," Simon led his little sister out of the dining area. Jayne and Mal just watched the siblings as they walked by, both gaping at the glare that the young woman sent the merc on their way out.

"What in the _shun-shen duh gao-wahn _did you do to her?" Captain Reynolds asked, "if I were you, Jayne, I'd sleep with one eye open for a while. That girl is like a wild cat some days…"

Jayne whined helplessly, knowing that he walked himself right into this. "Yeah, Mal, I guess so," he grumbled.

**That's where I'll cut this off at. Let me know if ya'll want a sequel! **

**Here are the translations from the story: **

-_Mei-mei- "Little sister"_

_ -Guh-guh- "Big brother"_

_ -Chur-ni duh- "Screw you"_

_ - Shun-shen duh gao-wahn- "Holy testicle Tuesday"_

_ -Run-tse duh fwotzoo- "Merciful Buddha"_


End file.
